my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Monday, July 25, 2005
in a really bad mood now, but im not throwing tantrums or anything, grew out of that eons ago. sigh, my brain's malfunctioning. don't even talk about one hour or anything man, it wouldn't even work for jes THREE induction questions. it seems like im not destined to finish that damned tutorial. i really wanna understand every single question before i file it away, and then it's been bugging me for WEEKS. shit i really want to have tuition soon, but i'll have to wait till thursday. bugger. i told you mondays and tuesdays are the worst days of the week simply because i'm too tired to accomplish anything. or perhaps i should jes throw this stupid computer away, so damn distracting. and it's not even in my room! feeling so pessimistic now, so i needa rant it all out so that my pessimism stays here and only here. gee okay i should rest a little (hmm haven't i been resting ever since i came back already?) then go read my econs notes. i forgot to bring home my econs tys! and it's locked away in baboonie's locker, URGHHHHHHH. i feel like kicking myself in the ass now, but sorreh my legs can't bend backwards and my foot ain't inverted inwards. sigh i feel so lazy, stupid, dumb, IM SUCHA SLOTH i should exile myself from this computer, the television, THE KITCHEN and swim in the sea of knowledge till i drown. whatever that meant lar. JEEEZ. so many caps eh, i'm feeling ke'rayzae. i miss ke'rayzae, i miss 1so3u, i miss the odacians and the white and green all around. ah snap out of it already. pardon me but my mind's currently going round in swirls. i feel like i can see the swirly thingy spinning around in my head. sigh. im aching all over and there's 2.4 tommorow. whassup with the stupid school man, like hello i think running what you've passed already doesn't really serve any purpose? we really should channel that potential energy that we posses into something more constructive/productive like catching up with our sleep to be able to study and concentrate in class at the very least. don't geddit? well didn't think you would. awshucks im really going nutters. AHHH BYE MAN.
written with ♥ at
6:26 AM;
